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I'm drivin' in a stolen truck, and I'm probably fuckin' drunk.
Tyler, The Creator
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.
George Carlin
Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
Isaac Asimov
Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses may not be stolen.
George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg
A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one.
Guy de Maupassant