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You don't have conversations with microprocessors. You tell them what to do, then helplessly watch the disaster when they take you literally!
David Brin
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I never waited 27 years, because 27 years ago I was just born. My parents never told me, 'If you don't win Roland Garros we take you to the orphanage.
Roger Federer
They told me to take a streetcar named desire and then transfer to on called cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at - Elysian fields!
Tennessee Williams
If the world is ending, a woman will want time to fix her hair. If the world's ending, a woman will take time to to tell a man something he's done wrong.
Robert Jordan
Watch people do their most common actions; these are indeed the things that will tell you the real character of a great person.
Swami Vivekananda
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright