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If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.
John Mayer
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A century ago, petroleum - what we call oil - was just an obscure commodity; today it is almost as vital to human existence as water.
James Buchan
Three years ago, the white hope of the theatre. Today, a mug. That's New York for you. Puts you on a Christmas tree, and then - the alley.
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Five years ago I was a four-stone apology - today I am two separate gorillas.
Vivian Stanshall
You don't know how to handle anything today, because you have to go to jail to get some press or fall down drunk.
Liza Minnelli
Well, I quit smoking three weeks ago and I had a hard day today not smoking.
Eric Roberts