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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
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Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
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Sun Tzu
Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
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No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility.
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How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.
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