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Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones.
Benjamin Disraeli
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Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
Oscar Wilde
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
George Bernard Shaw
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
Oscar Wilde
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Dwight D. Eisenhower