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If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans.
Anne Lamott
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An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
Will Rogers
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
A teacher affects eternity he can never tell, where his influence stops.
Henry Adams
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
Otto von Bismarck
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
George Bernard Shaw