Mark Russell quotes

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. (Mark Russell)
The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it. View quote
Mark Russell
If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once. View quote
Mark Russell
You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game. View quote
Mark Russell
You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans! View quote
Mark Russell
If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel. View quote
Mark Russell
I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person. View quote
Mark Russell
People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television. View quote
Mark Russell
The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is. View quote
Mark Russell
I believe that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business... my business! View quote
Mark Russell
You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble. (Mark Russell)
Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it. View quote
Mark Russell
I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. View quote
Mark Russell