Jenny Eclair quotes

What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organize everything for me. I don't want to do things on the Internet. (Jenny Eclair)
I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.
Jenny Eclair
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
Jenny Eclair
I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh.
Jenny Eclair
Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.
Jenny Eclair
I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.
Jenny Eclair
As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.
Jenny Eclair
I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.
Jenny Eclair
Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable.
Jenny Eclair
I can't stand folk who are all snobby about reality TV.
Jenny Eclair
I can't tan naturally. (Jenny Eclair)
I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect.
Jenny Eclair
I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.
Jenny Eclair
I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet.
Jenny Eclair
I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.
Jenny Eclair
I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.
Jenny Eclair
The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena.
Jenny Eclair
I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.
Jenny Eclair
My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!
Jenny Eclair
I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.
Jenny Eclair
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga. (Jenny Eclair)
I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face.
Jenny Eclair
I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.
Jenny Eclair
Women are more emotional, and it's natural to talk about it.
Jenny Eclair
I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.
Jenny Eclair