Jasper Carrott quotes

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list. (Jasper Carrott)
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson. View quote
Jasper Carrott
Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy. View quote
Jasper Carrott
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. View quote
Jasper Carrott
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy. View quote
Jasper Carrott
Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them. View quote
Jasper Carrott
I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank. View quote
Jasper Carrott
I have to confess here that I am a useless cook. View quote
Jasper Carrott
I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius. View quote
Jasper Carrott
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all. View quote
Jasper Carrott
Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles. (Jasper Carrott)