Greg Behrendt quotes

Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh. (Greg Behrendt)
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities. View quote
Greg Behrendt
A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. View quote
Greg Behrendt
If the guy you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,' please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is. View quote
Greg Behrendt
You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don't need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Alone also means available for someone outstanding. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you? View quote
Greg Behrendt
Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: They don't break up with you. View quote
Greg Behrendt
There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account. (Greg Behrendt)
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy. View quote
Greg Behrendt
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will. View quote
Greg Behrendt
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time? View quote
Greg Behrendt
When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you'd like them to be. View quote
Greg Behrendt
The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Better than nothing is not good enough for you! View quote
Greg Behrendt
The only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time. View quote
Greg Behrendt
He doesn't have to love your CD collection. He doesn't have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family-especially when they're great. (Greg Behrendt)
Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you. View quote
Greg Behrendt
..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work. View quote
Greg Behrendt
Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted. View quote
Greg Behrendt