Colin Mochrie quotes

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises. (Colin Mochrie)
You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school. View quote
Colin Mochrie
The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge. View quote
Colin Mochrie
I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs. View quote
Colin Mochrie
We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second. View quote
Colin Mochrie
Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine! View quote
Colin Mochrie
We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out. View quote
Colin Mochrie
This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3. View quote
Colin Mochrie
My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever. View quote
Colin Mochrie
Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod? View quote
Colin Mochrie
Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy. (Colin Mochrie)
Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries. View quote
Colin Mochrie
I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh as one, but he didn't really sing a lot! View quote
Colin Mochrie
There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting. View quote
Colin Mochrie
When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage. View quote
Colin Mochrie
I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work. View quote
Colin Mochrie
I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned. View quote
Colin Mochrie
To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap. View quote
Colin Mochrie
Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung? View quote
Colin Mochrie
I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine. View quote
Colin Mochrie
And if that isn't the truth, it would be a lie. (Colin Mochrie)
As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers. View quote
Colin Mochrie
Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had. View quote
Colin Mochrie
There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky. View quote
Colin Mochrie
Give me liberty or give me a bran muffin! View quote
Colin Mochrie