Bruce Vilanch quotes

I mean, I've sold all these scripts and nothing's been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don't get made. (Bruce Vilanch)

I've written about 15 screenplays and they all sold - they were all sold on pitches.

Bruce Vilanch

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

Bruce Vilanch

It's the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don't care about.

Bruce Vilanch

What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

Bruce Vilanch

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

Bruce Vilanch

They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don't get paid a lot because they're working on the Oscars show. It's the biggest show in the world.

Bruce Vilanch

I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it's for a live show it's usually a buy-out. A flat fee.

Bruce Vilanch

I write screenplays that don't get made and pilots that don't get picked up, and I re-write other people's movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.

Bruce Vilanch

I've got more chins than a San Francisco phonebook.

Bruce Vilanch

Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn't much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you're dealing with - what's been overlooked, what the issues are. (Bruce Vilanch)

It's really live television, the way God meant it to be.

Bruce Vilanch

I have one rave 'New York Times' review framed next to a flop 'Los Angeles Times' review. And it's for the same show. These people watched the same show. That's what happens. They love it, they hate it.

Bruce Vilanch

Who knew we had all this O.C.D. in the world? Well actually, I suppose it's pretty obvious. It explains Sudoku, doesn't it?

Bruce Vilanch