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Toby Young quotes
I was once hired to write a column for 'The Guardian' and then got fired before I'd submitted my first one. That was unusual. Most newspapers wait until I've written at least one piece for them before firing me.
Toby Young
My life's ambition is to play a James Bond villain. I have the cat and the eye-patch, so I'm just waiting for the call. For some reason, though, the phone hasn't rung.
Toby Young
Top Chef is a very smooth-running machine. All the people working there are incredibly professional and absolutely at the top of their game.
Toby Young
Serious cleavage behind Ed Miliband's head. Anyone know who it belongs to?
Toby Young
It was as if all the meritocratic fantasies of every 1960s educationalist had come true and all Harold Wilson's children had been let in at the gate ... Small, vaguely deformed undergraduates would scuttle across the quad as if carrying mobile homes on their backs. Replete with acne and anoraks, they would peer up through thick pebble-glasses, pausing only to blow their noses.
Toby Young
What happened to [Claudia] Winkleman's breasts? Put on some weight, girlie.
Toby Young
Inclusive. It's one of those ghastly, politically correct words that have survived the demise of New Labour. Schools have got to be ‘inclusive' these days. That means wheelchair ramps, the complete works of Alice Walker in the school library (though no Mark Twain) and a Special Educational Needs Department that can cope with everything from dyslexia to Münchausen syndrome by proxy. If [then education secretary, Michael] Gove is serious about wanting to bring back O-levels, the government will have to repeal the Equalities Act because any exam that isn't ‘accessible' to a functionally illiterate troglodyte with a mental age of six will be judged to be ‘elitist' and therefore forbidden by Harman's Law.
Toby Young
My proposal is this: once this technology [genetically engineered intelligence] becomes available, why not offer it free of charge to parents on low incomes with below-average IQs? Provided there is sufficient take-up, it could help to address the problem of flat-lining inter-generational social mobility and serve as a counterweight to the tendency for the meritocratic elite to become a hereditary elite. It might make all the difference when it comes to the long-term sustainability of advanced meritocratic societies.
Toby Young
Socialism always begins with a universal vision for the brotherhood of man and ends with people having to eat their own pets.
Toby Young
I expect that in 40 years' time I'll be writing political tomes and working for an organisation like Oxfam.
Toby Young
The moment I'm perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my career will go down the pan.
Toby Young
Oddly, I do have a problem with authority. I find it very difficult to knuckle down and follow rules. Which are the classic symptoms of someone who has a troubled relationship with their father. And yet, I never had a problem with my father.
Toby Young
People in London think of London as the center of the world, whereas New Yorkers think the world ends three miles outside of Manhattan.
Toby Young
I wouldn't describe myself as a master of anything.
Toby Young
There's no reason why you can't deliver a grammar-school curriculum to an all-ability intake.
Toby Young
It's very different doing a food show in America and doing one in Britain. I did a 20-part series for the BBC series called 'Eating With the Enemy.' The budget for all 20 episodes was probably the budget for a single episode of 'Top Chef.' It's the difference between making a home movie in your backyard and going to Hollywood.
Toby Young
I miss being fawned over by restaurateurs and chefs.
Toby Young
I think I've been wishing for celebrity for so long that I've got used to being someone who's petitioning the establishment for acceptance... my whole schtick, my whole identity, is so wrapped up in being a petitioner that I don't really know how to react now that petition has been granted.
Toby Young
America thinks of itself as a meritocracy, so people have more respect for success and more contempt for failure.
Toby Young
When I was writing my column, I would almost always be recognized when I was in a restaurant, even if I was reviewing it and had booked under a fake name, so free stuff would start coming out of the kitchen on a conveyer belt, fantastic wines would be opened at my table. Now I can't even get a reservation on the pizza joint on the corner.
Toby Young
In Britain, by contrast, we still think that class plays a part in determining a person's life chances, so we're less inclined to celebrate success and less inclined to condemn failure. The upshot is that it's much easier to be a failure in Britain than it is in America.
Toby Young
You know when you tell a self-deprecating story at a dinner party, everyone's laughing along with you? But then when someone else repeats that same story at another dinner party you feel they're all laughing at you?
Toby Young
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