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Jerry Lewis quotes
It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke it, or look around in the wildest laboratory in the world, the public.
Jerry Lewis
Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us.
Jerry Lewis
Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them.
Jerry Lewis
From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems.
Jerry Lewis
I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.
Jerry Lewis
I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.
Jerry Lewis
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
Jerry Lewis
I get paid for what most kids get punished for.
Jerry Lewis
I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.
Jerry Lewis
People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.
Jerry Lewis
If I found the cure for dystrophy tomorrow, I would do a telethon in four weeks for acute pain that in this country is a bigger problem than cancer, heart, sickle cell, anemia, name it. It is - it's hitting 70 million Americans.
Jerry Lewis
A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't people have an affection for me and what I've done? Didn't I have to be genuine for them to buy into what I did? There are children who grow up today who will not have that when they're 55 years old. With whom will they have it? Name an example for me.
Jerry Lewis
I'm telling you about a child in trouble. If it's pity, we'll get some money. I'm giving you the facts. Pity. You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair; stay in your house.
Jerry Lewis
I learned from my dad that when you walk in front of an audience, they are the kings and queens, and you're but the jester - and if you don't think that way, you're going to get very, very conceited.
Jerry Lewis
I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.
Jerry Lewis
I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.
Jerry Lewis
Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!
Jerry Lewis
I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.
Jerry Lewis
The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he's never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn't walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn't have a dream of doing well.
Jerry Lewis
I've had great success being a total idiot.
Jerry Lewis
I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.
Jerry Lewis
When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.
Jerry Lewis
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