Conan O'Brien quotes - page 3

Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality. (Conan O'Brien)
All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. View quote
Conan O'Brien
Applaud my idiocy. View quote
Conan O'Brien
Now that this mess is almost behind me – I just have one last request: HBO, when you make the movie about this whole NBC late night fiasco, I'd like to be played by Academy-Award winning actress Tilda Swinton. View quote
Conan O'Brien
The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. View quote
Conan O'Brien
It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy. View quote
Conan O'Brien
I have an abacus at home. View quote
Conan O'Brien
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' View quote
Conan O'Brien
The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent. View quote
Conan O'Brien
You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people. View quote
Conan O'Brien
Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this Yesterday, a 27- year-old woman came forward to deny rumors that she had an affair with Democratic front- runner John Kerry. The woman added, I would never cheat on Bill Clinton. (Conan O'Brien)
Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country. View quote
Conan O'Brien
John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise 80 million before the Democratic convention. That's a lot of money. Yeah, Kerry has two ways to raise the 80 million soliciting Democratic donors and going through his wife's purse. View quote
Conan O'Brien
There's no cure for getting depressed. There's no cure for self-loathing or periods of it. But figure out enough about it so that when it happens, you can get over it and keep moving and just accomplish more. View quote
Conan O'Brien
Playboy magazine announced that they are going to support the troops by sending them emails from Playboy playmates. After hearing this the U.S. troops said 'Just our luck, we get emails from playmates, but we're embedded with Geraldo.' View quote
Conan O'Brien
Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II... Fifty children What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy. View quote
Conan O'Brien