Allen Carr quotes

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home. (Allen Carr)

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

Allen Carr

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

Allen Carr

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

Allen Carr

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

Allen Carr

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

Allen Carr

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

Allen Carr

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

Allen Carr

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

Allen Carr

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

Allen Carr

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy. (Allen Carr)

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

Allen Carr

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

Allen Carr