Bob Newhart quotes - page 2

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do. (Bob Newhart)
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.
Bob Newhart
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Bob Newhart
Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?
Bob Newhart
I love portraying the totally indifferent person.
Bob Newhart
Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.
Bob Newhart
I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.
Bob Newhart
I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.
Bob Newhart
Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.
Bob Newhart
You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.
Bob Newhart
I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time! (Bob Newhart)
I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that.
Bob Newhart
I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.
Bob Newhart
Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one.
Bob Newhart
I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.
Bob Newhart
I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.
Bob Newhart
I don't know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Pediatricians. Or gynecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology?
Bob Newhart
Don't be silly and don't waste your time.
Bob Newhart
More and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, 'Thank you for all the laughter.' And my standard answer is, 'It was my pleasure.' But that's the truth.
Bob Newhart