Roseanne Barr quotes - page 3

Comedy is the only hope for humanity. (Roseanne Barr)

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

Roseanne Barr

Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.

Roseanne Barr

Ever since I was a girl, I have written about one to five pages every day - on napkins, on scrap paper, in notebooks and tablets, on the walls in my room as a teenager, and in orange paint on the cheap white plastic blinds in my room.

Roseanne Barr

Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.

Roseanne Barr

I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.

Roseanne Barr

I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice.

Roseanne Barr

Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve.

Roseanne Barr

I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.

Roseanne Barr

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.

Roseanne Barr

As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews. (Roseanne Barr)

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

Roseanne Barr

I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.

Roseanne Barr

I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

Roseanne Barr

The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment 'Roseanne' dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!

Roseanne Barr

I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.

Roseanne Barr

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

Roseanne Barr

I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

Roseanne Barr

They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!

Roseanne Barr

I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy.

Roseanne Barr

I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers. (Roseanne Barr)

I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.

Roseanne Barr

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

Roseanne Barr

I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

Roseanne Barr

Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?

Roseanne Barr

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