Roseanne Barr quotes - page 2

To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes. (Roseanne Barr)

I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled.

Roseanne Barr

My real life is funnier than anything on TV.

Roseanne Barr

We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.

Roseanne Barr

I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.

Roseanne Barr

I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.

Roseanne Barr

Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.

Roseanne Barr

I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.

Roseanne Barr

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Roseanne Barr

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

Roseanne Barr

Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought. (Roseanne Barr)

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

Roseanne Barr

Excuse the mess but we live here.

Roseanne Barr

I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.

Roseanne Barr

Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

Roseanne Barr

I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You know what, after a while some sane dialogue and sane conclusions come of that kind of thing.

Roseanne Barr

You can always get better. Nobody can stop you from getting better, and nobody can stop you from trying to make something right.

Roseanne Barr

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

Roseanne Barr

TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.

Roseanne Barr

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

Roseanne Barr

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with. (Roseanne Barr)

Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.

Roseanne Barr

I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.

Roseanne Barr

I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone.

Roseanne Barr

'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.

Roseanne Barr

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