Jo Brand quotes - page 7

I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight. (Jo Brand)
I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up. View quote
Jo Brand
I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy. View quote
Jo Brand
As a comic and as a nurse, it's important to look calm on the surface when you're absolutely crapping yourself inside. So, if someone is waving a machete at you, which has happened to me when I was a nurse, it's important to make that person feel that you're in control. View quote
Jo Brand
I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people. View quote
Jo Brand
Even nice things don't make you happy when you're tired. View quote
Jo Brand
Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did. View quote
Jo Brand
It's got too much hard work slapping them and telling them to shut up. View quote
Jo Brand
When you have children your house smells very unpleasant all the time. View quote
Jo Brand
Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy. View quote
Jo Brand
Let's face it: I am not a professional runner. (Jo Brand)
It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally. View quote
Jo Brand
Managers of hospitals, over the years have been increasingly recruited from outside the health service and although their experience of running a supermarket chain might allow them to balance the books, it does not mean they have any insight into how a ward should be managed and patients best served. View quote
Jo Brand
I do say no to lots of things, actually! I know it doesn't look like it. But I have a tendency to a) be rubbish at saying no, and b) be pushed by some kind of Protestant work ethic. View quote
Jo Brand
Again, with two small children it's incredibly hard to commit yourself to anything because you're just getting interested in it and someone comes along and goes I want Thomas The Tank Engine on, and screams the place down until you put it on. View quote
Jo Brand