Garry Shandling quotes

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. (Garry Shandling)
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. View quote
Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. View quote
Garry Shandling
I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out. View quote
Garry Shandling
Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship. View quote
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. View quote
Garry Shandling
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. View quote
Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much. View quote
Garry Shandling
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large. View quote
Garry Shandling
Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. View quote
Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session. (Garry Shandling)
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad. View quote
Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show. View quote
Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. View quote
Garry Shandling
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. View quote
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. View quote
Garry Shandling
I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. View quote
Garry Shandling
I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present. View quote
Garry Shandling
I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. View quote
Garry Shandling
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. View quote
Garry Shandling
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. (Garry Shandling)
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside. View quote
Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. View quote
Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. View quote
Garry Shandling
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. View quote
Garry Shandling