Janet Evanovich quotes - page 3

Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing. (Janet Evanovich)
He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control? View quote
Janet Evanovich
Cupcake, you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you. View quote
Janet Evanovich
You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money. View quote
Janet Evanovich
My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think. View quote
Janet Evanovich
It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due." Carl Costanza - Seven Up. View quote
Janet Evanovich
I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude. View quote
Janet Evanovich
From the look on your face, I'd say you know him." I nodded. "Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school." Connie grunted. "Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli. View quote
Janet Evanovich
I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour! (Janet Evanovich)
Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car... just for old times. View quote
Janet Evanovich
How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator." Stephanie Plum. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy. View quote
Janet Evanovich
THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me-not forever, but periodically. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat; it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries. View quote
Janet Evanovich
If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert. View quote
Janet Evanovich
I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset." Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler. View quote
Janet Evanovich
Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?" "No." "The were not fighting. (Janet Evanovich)
You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood. View quote
Janet Evanovich
I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur. View quote
Janet Evanovich
You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it. Lula to Stephanie. View quote
Janet Evanovich
You're such a cupcake. View quote
Janet Evanovich