Harriet Lerner quotes - page 2

Feeling essentially superior to other people is as sure a sign of poor self-esteem as feeling essentially inferior. (Harriet Lerner)
Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth. View quote
Harriet Lerner
We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy. View quote
Harriet Lerner
We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True joy can't be anticipated or planned. It just strikes. View quote
Harriet Lerner
The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing. View quote
Harriet Lerner
When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either. View quote
Harriet Lerner
The rush of sexual attraction can act like a drug and blur our capacity for clear thinking. This can lead us to distance ourselves from our friends or even abandon our life plan for someone who couldn't otherwise be relied on to water our plants and feed our cat. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Request an apology when you believe you deserve one, but don't get in a tug of war about it. Instead, be a role model and tender a genuine apology yourself when an apology is due. Your willingness to apologize can be contagious and models maturity for your partner. Also, your non-apologizing partner may use a nonverbal way to reconnect after a fight, defuse the tension, or show you he's in a new place and wants to repair a disconnection. Accept the olive branch however it's offered. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with. View quote
Harriet Lerner
It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you've done. (Harriet Lerner)
People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner's vulnerability. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Fear is a message - sometimes helpful, sometimes not - but often conveying critical information about our beliefs, our needs, and our relationship to the world around us. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Feeling inadequate is an occupational hazard of motherhood. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Love alone is never a good enough reason to marry. View quote
Harriet Lerner
You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his. View quote
Harriet Lerner
We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview. View quote
Harriet Lerner
Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change. View quote
Harriet Lerner