P. J. O'Rourke quotes - page 13

The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken. (P. J. O'Rourke)
The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of fashion with conservatives. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood and smiting the firstborn, give me a pass. And tell me when it's over. (P. J. O'Rourke)
To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Why is Iraq so easy to harm and so hard to help? View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I'm a rather decisive type. (P. J. O'Rourke)
If ever there were a place where people not only tend not to face economic facts, but it's almost their purpose not to face economic facts, it's Washington. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke