Calvin Trillin quotes

Health food makes me sick. (Calvin Trillin)
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Calvin Trillin
I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.
Calvin Trillin
Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
Calvin Trillin
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
Calvin Trillin
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
Calvin Trillin
In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
Calvin Trillin
Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.
Calvin Trillin
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.
Calvin Trillin
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
Calvin Trillin
I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally. (Calvin Trillin)
I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.
Calvin Trillin
I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.
Calvin Trillin
I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
Calvin Trillin
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
Calvin Trillin
Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.
Calvin Trillin
I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
Calvin Trillin
Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.
Calvin Trillin
When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.
Calvin Trillin
There's always a source for humor.
Calvin Trillin
The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out. (Calvin Trillin)
When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.
Calvin Trillin
What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
Calvin Trillin
With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.
Calvin Trillin
The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.
Calvin Trillin