TotalBiscuit quotes

Critique exists to protect consumers from unscrupulous companies, and is a necessary part of our society. Wild Games Studio disagrees. (TotalBiscuit)
I think we may have found 2014's Garry's Incident. Ho-lee sh*t.
TotalBiscuit
It's an Avenge?! Ahhhh! Oh, no! ...I was bamboozled!
TotalBiscuit
This monkey is running backwards and forwards! This tribesman right here-" [starts swinging his machete in an attempt to get the tribesman's attention] "Hi.
TotalBiscuit
Can I... WHAT?! Whaaaaat?! I hit him five times-three times in the back and he doesn't even know that I'm here!" [laughs] "Why is this game?! I'm not even gonna ask what is this game!
TotalBiscuit
So. What's missing? Well, there's no crosshairs.
TotalBiscuit
Are you ready for the jumpscare? ...No, you're not.
TotalBiscuit
Oh look, everybody instantly died again! What the hell was that? What killed me?
TotalBiscuit
Behold! The Floating Aborigine Tribesman thingy! And his.
TotalBiscuit
...I am a stupid, stupid man. I am a very, very dumb person. I..." [laughs in self-deprication] "He has an Auchenai Soulpriest! Why would you do that?! What is wrong with you?!
TotalBiscuit
So, if all you do with WTF Is...? is to figure out whether or not a game is worth buying, you can just stop watching right now. It isn't. You should avoid it like the plague, because it is absolutely terrible. If you're curious as to why, however..." [chuckles] "Oh, I will show you. (TotalBiscuit)
Should've played the bloody Sky Golem. And now he's got my other one. Give it BACK!
TotalBiscuit
What the hell killed me?! I had half health! Why did I just immediately die?! I don't understand what's happening!
TotalBiscuit
That shows an obscene! lack of foresight!
TotalBiscuit
Let me guess: if I stand up, he's gonna see me immediately?" [stands up; tribesman attacks him] "Of course.
TotalBiscuit
I now present to you the fairest maiden-what the hell is wrong with your face?
TotalBiscuit
I'm pretty sure that macaw is also...up to no good...
TotalBiscuit
We as consumers have the ability to stop this bullshit for good. And we're the only ones who can do that. Publishers aren't gonna do it. Devs aren't gonna do it. It's up to you: will you be part of that solution? Will you help fix this? Or will you continue to be part of the problem? I guess that's up to you.
TotalBiscuit
Ubisoft, I just want to like your games. Why won't you let me!
TotalBiscuit
What the 'ell just happened?!
TotalBiscuit
We protected our copyright because TotalBiscuit has no right to make advertising revenues with our license.' Stephane Woods is lying, and here's why. (TotalBiscuit)
This is a full release...! This is a full release! It is not Early Access! This is not a beta, guys! Seriously, I am not lying to you! And this is after about three patches! This game is a f**king disaster!
TotalBiscuit
WHAT?! YOU FFFFFFFfffffff..." [Silence. ] "...I just lost. I just lost...!
TotalBiscuit
So far, the game has done a really good job of not throwing a lot of jumpscares at me, and that worries me even more. [goes to open door] If you blow your load too quickly with jumpscares-" [TB opens door. Cue jumpscare. ] "AHHHHH! Jesus Christ. F**k! I hate you so much right now! God-dammit! Anyway!
TotalBiscuit
...Yeah, and that was just the damn start of it, because Ubisoft simply cannot shut UP!
TotalBiscuit