Sarah Silverman quotes - page 2

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing. (Sarah Silverman)
Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert. View quote
Sarah Silverman
This song brings me back ... I was brutally raped to this song. View quote
Sarah Silverman
On the law that requires women to wait twenty-four hours before they are permitted to have an abortion: I think it's a good law. The other day I wanted to go get an abortion. I really wanted an abortion, but then I thought about it and it turned out I was just thirsty. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving. View quote
Sarah Silverman
A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God - I'm turning into my mother!" View quote
Sarah Silverman
But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. View quote
Sarah Silverman
It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I never defend my material. Comedy is subjective. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I really think everything is fair game. View quote
Sarah Silverman
Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. (Sarah Silverman)
The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I just think of myself as a comedian, really. View quote
Sarah Silverman
Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. View quote
Sarah Silverman
Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I had a lot of depression as a kid. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love. Jesus' words have become so perverted over time - it's been like a game of telephone. If he existed, Jesus would fuckin' kill himself. View quote
Sarah Silverman
Hey, is it considered molestation if the child makes the first move? I'm gonna need a quick answer on this. View quote
Sarah Silverman
Jesus is magic, you know, because he turned water to wine, and, um ... he, um ... I think he made the Statue of Liberty disappear in the 80's. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I'm such a loser. Wow, I shouldn't say things like that, I'm such a pessimist ... he's actually half-white. (Sarah Silverman)
I'll take this opportunity to answer one of the most repeated questions: why didn't I choose to depict Mohammed having sex? The answer is simple. I don't want to get blown up with explosives. I'm afraid of angering Muslims, but not afraid of angering Jews and Christians. So I chose to depict the Judeo-Christian God instead. It seems extremely obvious to me, but so many people asked. View quote
Sarah Silverman
I don't compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do. View quote
Sarah Silverman
If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean. View quote
Sarah Silverman
People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience. View quote
Sarah Silverman