David Sedaris quotes - page 3

The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention. (David Sedaris)
I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners. View quote
David Sedaris
This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable. View quote
David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. View quote
David Sedaris
Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes. View quote
David Sedaris
Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise. View quote
David Sedaris
There is still the outside world to contend with. A world of backfiring cars, and their human equivalents. View quote
David Sedaris
I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. View quote
David Sedaris
I sometimes read books on my iPad. View quote
David Sedaris
I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. View quote
David Sedaris
I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. (David Sedaris)
To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news. View quote
David Sedaris
I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration. View quote
David Sedaris
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. View quote
David Sedaris
There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about. View quote
David Sedaris
High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there. View quote
David Sedaris
A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at. View quote
David Sedaris
Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit? View quote
David Sedaris
I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity. View quote
David Sedaris
Often I'd take out my magnifying glass and stare into the chaos that was her face. View quote
David Sedaris
Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. (David Sedaris)
I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous. View quote
David Sedaris
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. View quote
David Sedaris
He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone. View quote
David Sedaris
but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment. View quote
David Sedaris