Paula Poundstone quotes - page 2

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going. (Paula Poundstone)
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd. View quote
Paula Poundstone
When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it. View quote
Paula Poundstone
When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. (Paula Poundstone)
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing. View quote
Paula Poundstone
I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out. View quote
Paula Poundstone