John Oliver (comedian) quotes - page 3

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. (John Oliver (comedian))
There is no greater anesthetic than sport. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
It really helps a comedian to be an outsider. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I can't relax. I find vacations problematic. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. (John Oliver (comedian))
There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I feel non-stop Brit shame! View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it. (John Oliver (comedian))
There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)
My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American. View quote
John Oliver (comedian)