Tucker Max quotes

Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I? (Tucker Max)
You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak. View quote
Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy. View quote
Tucker Max
It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. View quote
Tucker Max
I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club. View quote
Tucker Max
I'm a human. Every human is flawed. I might be flawed in different ways than some people, or worse ways than some people, or better ways than some people. View quote
Tucker Max
Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don't bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late. View quote
Tucker Max
The point of psychoanalysis is to really understand the roots of your behavior. Understand why you are doing the things you're doing - and connect your unconscious to your conscious. View quote
Tucker Max
Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people. View quote
Tucker Max
... the devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for... View quote
Tucker Max
I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off. (Tucker Max)
If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people. View quote
Tucker Max
Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out. View quote
Tucker Max
We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating. View quote
Tucker Max
I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds. View quote
Tucker Max
...and that we were now those guys...who started a fight at a Harry Potter book party. View quote
Tucker Max
Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours? View quote
Tucker Max
No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog. View quote
Tucker Max
I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. View quote
Tucker Max
Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. View quote
Tucker Max
At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now. (Tucker Max)
Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party. View quote
Tucker Max
Women always want the guy that other women want. View quote
Tucker Max
Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another. View quote
Tucker Max
If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma. View quote
Tucker Max