Quotesdtb.com
Home
Authors
Quotes of the day
Top quotes
Topics
Marc Maron quotes - page 2
Is it hard to make a living in show business? Yeah.
Marc Maron
We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.
Marc Maron
When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all of the Cheech and Chong records and all of the Richard Pryor records.
Marc Maron
The next evolutionary step is into the screen.
Marc Maron
Show business is one of the few businesses that the devil will actually agree to own just a portion of your soul because he knows if you have a performer's ego you were probably working for him all along.
Marc Maron
How many friends do you really have, seriously? You people... like "I have lots of friends." You don't. You have a lot of shallow relationships with people that talk behind your back and you call that drama a life because you hate your job.
Marc Maron
Everyone is a little bitter. We're born bitter. The personality itself is really just a very complex defense mechanism. A reaction to the first time someone said, "No you can't.
Marc Maron
Pearl Harbor the movie, arguably, was worse than the invasion itself.
Marc Maron
He [George W. Bush] was speaking in congress and he was saying "Why do they hate us? Because of what's going on right here in this chamber: a democratically elected government. Except for me, of course. I took the presidency in a bureaucratic coup with the help of my father's friends in the courthouse around the corner."
Marc Maron
The development of the comedy club industry destroyed the uniqueness and intimacy of the profession but it also created jobs for comics and bred some great performers.
Marc Maron
The demand for standup in the eighties was created by how easy it was to exploit 'comedians' and create very cheap television programming.
Marc Maron
I think the reason why we're so disconnected and depressing is that...we don't talk to God anymore - or rather, he doesn't talk to us. Remember back in the day? He used to just come out of nowhere. 'Abraham?! Guess who?!...that's right, it's God, you're a genius...' He would then tell them to do something and then BAM! it would get done. Who's he talking to now?!...I don't know! I think he's talking to those homeless guys that talk to themselves. You know, the ones that walk down the street arguing with themselves going 'I can't!...I can't!!!!!' ...what if at the other end of that conversation was 'You're the new leader!' 'I can't!...I can't!!!!!' They're not crazy homeless people...they're reluctant prophets!...better tip them an extra buck the next time you see 'em.
Marc Maron
The FBI and the CIA, I really thought they had everything under control. I thought they knew what was going on with everybody. I thought they had a camera in the air in a satellite right now taking very accurate pictures of my prostate. I thought they had that kind of technology. I thought they knew everything about everybody, but it turns out they're really no different than many other government bureaucracies, say, the Post Office or the Department of Motor Vehicles. Just, uh, you know, 50-60 year old men waiting for their pensions to kick in. Except for the three that let the attack [9/11] happen. They've been promoted.
Marc Maron
Where is all the porn coming from?! Why isn't the Christian right talking about porn?! Cause they want us to be jerking off by ourselves! They know they can't get to us; we're lost to them, but at least it'll keep us in our apartments!
Marc Maron
In the digital age our idea of political activism is forwarding an e-mail. You copy four people and think, "I've fuckin' done my part for today."
Marc Maron
Hey, please, if you don't know me, please take a few seconds just to judge me by how I look. Appreciate the laugh there, thank you very much.
Marc Maron
There is no way I was buying my wife a fucking gun, because, let's be honest, there is no way I wasn't getting shot with that gun. Buying my wife a gun is sorta like me saying "Y'know, I kinda wanna kill myself...but I want it to be a surprise."
Marc Maron
Previous
1
2
(Current)
Next