Bill Maher quotes - page 4

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him? (Bill Maher)
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade? View quote
Bill Maher
Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is... precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position. View quote
Bill Maher
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. View quote
Bill Maher
You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash. View quote
Bill Maher
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed. View quote
Bill Maher
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. View quote
Bill Maher
Men are only as loyal as their options. View quote
Bill Maher
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. View quote
Bill Maher
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws? View quote
Bill Maher
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool. (Bill Maher)
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed. View quote
Bill Maher
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap. View quote
Bill Maher
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. View quote
Bill Maher
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor. View quote
Bill Maher
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.' View quote
Bill Maher
I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder. View quote
Bill Maher
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution. View quote
Bill Maher
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show. View quote
Bill Maher
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain. View quote
Bill Maher
It's all been satirized for your protection. (Bill Maher)
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all. View quote
Bill Maher
Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom. View quote
Bill Maher
That's America for you - a red herring culture, always scared of the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot of creepy middle-aged men out there lusting for your kids. They work for MTV, the pharmaceutical industry, McDonald's, Marlboro and K Street. View quote
Bill Maher
Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position. View quote
Bill Maher