Norm Macdonald quotes

Norm Macdonald was a Canadian comedian, actor, and writer celebrated for his deadpan humor and sharp wit. Best known as a cast member and anchor of "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live, his unique comedic style gained him a devoted following. He became widely respected as an original voice in stand-up comedy and television. Here are 38 of his quotes:

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

Norm Macdonald

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

Norm Macdonald

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

Norm Macdonald

I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're accessible to everyone.

Norm Macdonald

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Norm Macdonald

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

Norm Macdonald

I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.

Norm Macdonald

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

Norm Macdonald

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Norm Macdonald

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

Norm Macdonald

I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.

Norm Macdonald

I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.

Norm Macdonald

I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.

Norm Macdonald

I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.

Norm Macdonald

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

Norm Macdonald

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.

Norm Macdonald

I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.

Norm Macdonald

I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.

Norm Macdonald

My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!

Norm Macdonald

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

Norm Macdonald

I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.

Norm Macdonald

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.

Norm Macdonald