Denis Leary quotes - page 6

Anybody who's done standup will tell you that there's nothing like it. The show starts at 8:00, the curtain goes up and there's nobody else except you and the audience, and you just perform for them for two hours. Nobody yells, 'Cut!' There are no retakes. That is still the most exciting medium for me, and I love it. (Denis Leary)
I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one. View quote
Denis Leary
I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy. View quote
Denis Leary
I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention. View quote
Denis Leary
I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh. View quote
Denis Leary
I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God. View quote
Denis Leary
I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff. View quote
Denis Leary
What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. View quote
Denis Leary
Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. View quote
Denis Leary
It says on the back of the Nyquil box, 'May cause drowsiness.' It should say, 'Don't make any plans, OK? Kiss your family and friends good-bye.' View quote
Denis Leary
Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh. (Denis Leary)
I can't text. My fingers are too big. View quote
Denis Leary
Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true. View quote
Denis Leary
I've eaten things that didn't complain this much. View quote
Denis Leary
If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day. View quote
Denis Leary
If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. View quote
Denis Leary
I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen. View quote
Denis Leary
When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me. View quote
Denis Leary
When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again. View quote
Denis Leary
You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is. View quote
Denis Leary
I'm a huge Kevin Youkilis fan. (Denis Leary)
Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. View quote
Denis Leary
I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare. View quote
Denis Leary
If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. View quote
Denis Leary
I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. View quote
Denis Leary