Denis Leary quotes

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. (Denis Leary)
Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct. View quote
Denis Leary
We didn't have rehab back in the Seventies. Back in the Seventies, rehab meant you stopped doing coke, but you kept smoking pot and drinking for a couple more weeks. View quote
Denis Leary
Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup. That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup - that's it. View quote
Denis Leary
I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day! View quote
Denis Leary
I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man! View quote
Denis Leary
Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever. View quote
Denis Leary
God.. crack. Only in America would a guy invent crack. Only in America would there be a guy that cocaine wasn't good enough for. You know? One guy walking around New York City back in 1985 going, "You know, that cocaine's pretty good, but I want something that makes my heart explode as soon as I smoke it, ok? I want to take one suck off that crack pipe and go *snort* *splat* Now I'm happy! I'm dead, the ultimate high!" View quote
Denis Leary
Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it. View quote
Denis Leary
My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in. View quote
Denis Leary
My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that. (Denis Leary)
(talking about Marv Albert) Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv. This is God, what the HELL were you thinking?!? View quote
Denis Leary
(talking about The Lord Of The Dance) Have you seen that show? If you have, GET OUT! Get the hell out of my show right now! View quote
Denis Leary
What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, 'I'm going to protect all these strangers.' View quote
Denis Leary
I basically - I don't like tattoos, unless you're a firefighter who has a tattoo that has to do with that or a military guy. That's - those are people who should have tattoos. View quote
Denis Leary
...and there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it, you know why? Because we've got the bombs! That's why, yeah! Two words: NUCLEAR FUCKIN' WEAPONS! OK?! View quote
Denis Leary
Ted Kennedy, a good senator but a bad date you know what I mean? "What'd I forget? Goddamit the fuckin' girl! Jesus Christ where are my pants?" View quote
Denis Leary
If you had no enemies, you had no fun. View quote
Denis Leary
I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? View quote
Denis Leary
I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with. View quote
Denis Leary
Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads. (Denis Leary)
Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself. View quote
Denis Leary
Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate. View quote
Denis Leary
We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! View quote
Denis Leary
I love French stuff. Mmmm, french fries. View quote
Denis Leary