Sam Kinison quotes

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it. (Sam Kinison)
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society. View quote
Sam Kinison
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows. View quote
Sam Kinison
I'm attracted to heartbreakers. View quote
Sam Kinison
There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die." And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!" View quote
Sam Kinison
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. View quote
Sam Kinison
[On the Gulf War] The ground war lasted 100 hours. A hundred fuckin' hours. I've had parties go on longer than that, folks! View quote
Sam Kinison
Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee." She's thinking you're from fuckin' Europe or somethin: "OH GOD, WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT, OHHH," and you're going "A, B, C, D, E, F, G". View quote
Sam Kinison
YOU LYING WHORE!!! You used me! You never loved me! I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own blood! DIE! DIE! DIE! I want my records back! I want my fucking records back! View quote
Sam Kinison
I was MARRIED for TWO FUCKING YEARS! Hell would be like Club Med! View quote
Sam Kinison
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type. (Sam Kinison)
I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself. View quote
Sam Kinison
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man. View quote
Sam Kinison
Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row. View quote
Sam Kinison
I've never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds. View quote
Sam Kinison
Everything can be satirized. View quote
Sam Kinison
I have lived a carnal life. View quote
Sam Kinison
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd. View quote
Sam Kinison
I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't. View quote
Sam Kinison
AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion. View quote
Sam Kinison
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there. (Sam Kinison)
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles. View quote
Sam Kinison
So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move. View quote
Sam Kinison
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian. View quote
Sam Kinison
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild. View quote
Sam Kinison