Tom Holt quotes - page 2

Thank you for calling the Powers of Darkness. Your call may be recorded for security and training purposes. For general moral and ethical enquiries, press 1 on your keypad. To make a reservation, press 2. For details of our special discount packages for lawyers, politicians, and Microsoft executives, press 3. (Tom Holt)
Besides, [Saint] George pointed out, dragons burn towns and demand princesses as ransom. The dragons, referring to the Siege of Jerusalem, the Sack of Constantinople and a thousand years of dynastic marriages, said, Look who's talking. View quote
Tom Holt
Here we go, surfing the Net again, something done by humans and very gullible fish. View quote
Tom Holt
In fact, as they will be delighted to tell you, Taunton is no longer a one-horse town these days, they have a bicycle as well. View quote
Tom Holt
The King rose slowly to his feet and beckoned to the wizard, who had been sitting outside the circle of the firelight, apparently, trying to find a spell that would make a beer-can magically refill itself. View quote
Tom Holt
You want the short version. Okay, then: shit happens. Does that answer all your question? Thought not. Now, if you shut your face and let me tell this my way, we might actually get somewhere. Thank you. View quote
Tom Holt
Nobody took any notice. Even Jan Christian Duysberg had guessed that one back in the 1740s, and he had been thirty-four years old before he realised he was left-handed. View quote
Tom Holt
Jeez, for a superior intelligence, you must be just plain dumb,' he said. View quote
Tom Holt
Tact comes as naturally to full-bore handguns as, say, ice-skating to African elephants, but there comes a time when an exceptional individual is prepared to stand up and break the mould. View quote
Tom Holt
It was, they told him, all part of a concept which was definitely going to be The Future as far as Hell Holdings was concerned. For reasons he couldn't quite grasp, but which he couldn't help but feel mildly flattering, they were going to call it EuroBosch. View quote
Tom Holt
If you hadn't noticed, I'm the pub loony around here. This is my turf, and if there's any gibbering to be done, I'm the one who does it. If you want to gibber, find another bar. (Tom Holt)
No, no,' said Hildy, 'I dig up ancient things buried in the earth. Things that belonged to people who lived hundreds of years ago. As she said this, she began to feel uncomfortable. She had forgotten about the brooch.'Do you really?' said the King. 'We used to call that grave-robbing. View quote
Tom Holt
New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else. View quote
Tom Holt
Be my guest,' Vanderdecker said. You can watch a master liar at work, if you don't mind being an accomplice. View quote
Tom Holt
[...] the dragon got three cartsful of angry letters from the Pope (which he dismissed as a load of bulls) [...]. View quote
Tom Holt
You poor suckers [mammals]: you've got all this horrible stuff to get through somehow so obviously there's got to be an incentive, or at least some kind of fix for you to get addicted to. That's love: possibly the sneakiest trick ever played on any variety of life form by a notoriously conniving Universe. You do all these dismal, soul-destroying things because you get attached to each other. View quote
Tom Holt
I didn't find out she was actually the Queen of the Fey until some time later. Bit of a shock, but I think we could've made a go of it, if she hadn't been so dead set on wiping out the human race. View quote
Tom Holt
Lawyers are predators in grey worsted. View quote
Tom Holt
I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either. View quote
Tom Holt
Poetry is one of the few nasty childhood habits I've managed to grow out of. View quote
Tom Holt
I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year. (Tom Holt)
I write stuff,” he said. I don't necessarily believe it myself. View quote
Tom Holt
That's bureaucracy for you. Never follow a straight line when a spiral will get you there eventually. View quote
Tom Holt
It's a basic tenet of military science. No stronghold can be taken if a mule laden with gold bars can leave it unobserved. View quote
Tom Holt
Our lot may be all-seeing and all-knowing, but that's a long way removed from all-understanding. View quote
Tom Holt