Nicole Hollander quotes - page 2

(Woman) I'm curious about my demise. (Devil)...at a party...When you hear about the latest presidential betrayal on an issue you hold dear, you pitch over the terrace railing and fall 43 stories. (Nicole Hollander)
(Television) The insurance industry is perfectly willing to stop discriminating against women, if some other group would volunteer to take their place. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia at typewriter) What is Newt Gingrich's Real Name? 1) Newton Minnow 2) Fig Newton 3) Isaac Newton 4) Wayne Newton. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Television) Men are naturally more aggressive than women. (Sylvia) All the more reason to keep them locked up after dark. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(First Bad Girl) Conservatives say gay marriage undermines the institution of marriage....(Second Bad Girl) The minute women got driver's licenses, marriage was doomed. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) Rita, I want to have my cake and eat it too. (Rita) Sorry, Ma, it only works for Republicans. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Doctor in bed) I dreamt I died and went to Heaven and they handed me some old Ms. magazines, a paper sheet, and made me sit in a little room with a bunch of other doctors. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia at typewriter) The best place to discuss your sexual dissatisfaction with your partner is 1) in the bedroom 2) in a car, traveling at high speed 3) in a crowded elevator. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(First woman)...Men lose their sense of humor as they get older...their brains shrink...So men will be getting grumpier, just as we're getting...(Second woman) Shorter. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) A cat who's just been told that he'll have to eat that special canned cat food that comes from the veterinarian for the rest of his life. (Cat) Shoot me now. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) Yes, feminism was the apple Eve bit into. (Nicole Hollander)
(Sylvia) I'm planning to live fast, die young, and make a good looking corpse. (Bartender Harry) I think you're off schedule. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Woman organizing picnic) Most normal people would agree that pizza is nature's perfect food, right? View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) In the beginning Eve was alone in Eden. (Eve) Everything is so beautiful and amicable. (Serpent) I bet deep down, you wish you had an irritating companion. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) Rita! Get my smelling salts! (Rita) Ma, you used them up when you discovered that repeal of the estate tax benefits only the very, very rich. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) There's not enough coffee in the whole world to turn me into a functional human being. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Television) Angry women beat up shoe salesman who posed as gynecologist. (Sylvia) I hate guys who do that. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Television) Our station is experiencing technical difficulties, so please try and amuse yourselves in whatever way you did before you became so emotionally dependent on us. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Woman psychic) In June of 1987, men will begin talking about their feelings; women all over America will be sorry within minutes. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Woman psychic to woman client) So how come the tall, dark, handsome stranger I see in your future is a woman? View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) A mature person doesn't scream at her waiter: "Don't tell me your name and don't put anything freshly ground on my salad!”. (Nicole Hollander)
(Man in bar) I have the right to bear arms. It's in the Constitution. (Sylvia) I'm in complete agreement. I'd like to see a lot more women carry guns. [Pause] Cat got your tongue? View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia at typewriter) Common misunderstandings of young married couples. (Young husband to tearful wife) Jeannie, when I said that your dinner tasted like airplane food, that was meant as a compliment. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia) Rita! Is Bush still president? (Rita) Ma, I didn't want to tell you...You seemed so happy. View quote
Nicole Hollander
(Sylvia's answering machine) Hi, at the sound of the beep please tell me what you like best about me. View quote
Nicole Hollander