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Harry Hill quotes
I remember the shouts of "SCAB!" as my father went to work during the great dermatologists strike.
Harry Hill
Nan, she died again, tragically. We decided to get her embalmed, we threw a bit of money at it. And the embalmer asked us if we had any photos of Nan that he could work from. But unfortunately, the only photo we had was of Nan on the log-flume at Alton Towers.
Harry Hill
The left side of the brain is responsible for speech, but then it would say that.
Harry Hill
Anyone got a van?[Silence]That's right, you never see them any more, do you, vans. Trying to spoil my DVD?
Harry Hill
You're probably like me, when your doorbell rings, your dog goes racing up to the door...but it's never for him, is it? "Who did you think it was going to be, one of your little friends?"
Harry Hill
He went down to Portsmouth once, to visit the Mary Rose, and was surprised to learn that it had sunk. Thats how old he is!
Harry Hill
Why is it only Tudor buildings we mock?
Harry Hill
He went on Friends Reunited and Moses got back in touch with him. That's how old he is!
Harry Hill
You know, he cries every time he sees a fossil, because he remembers it when it was running around. That's how old he is!
Harry Hill
I understand that there's a large party of Scottish people here tonight...[Silence]I'll kill that researcher!
Harry Hill
You know, he burned his first ever pair of shoes, because when he was a kid, the Earth was still hot. That's how old he is!
Harry Hill