Kathy Griffin quotes - page 2

You'll have to excuse my friend, Ryan. That's the first time he's ever touched a woman. (Kathy Griffin)
Let's just say I'm gonna be so politically incorrect, you might even get sued for being in the audience.
Kathy Griffin
I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
Kathy Griffin
I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
Kathy Griffin
So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.
Kathy Griffin
Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.
Kathy Griffin
My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
Kathy Griffin
All of a sudden, I'm thinking, these guys [Afghani men] aren't so bad. I'm like the type of asshole where if you're nice to me once, I'm your friend for life. Sure, you hacked your kid's clit off, but you were nice!
Kathy Griffin
(After Houston asks the audience in Central Park to sing along to a new, un-aired song) And the poor gays with the signs are like "We don't know that song yet.... it's not even (on the radio)...go Diva.... I mean, we don't know that song. I would like to...I don't...??"
Kathy Griffin
(On William Shatner) He is like my favourite red-faced, bloated booze bag.
Kathy Griffin
Donna (Karan), you have huge jugs, you could totally be a manager at Hooters! (Kathy Griffin)
Because Oprah would be like "DID YOU DO COOOOCAAAAAAINE???"
Kathy Griffin
You've got the two titans. Streisand. Oprah. Both strong black women.
Kathy Griffin
Have you guys noticed that Madonna is British now? OK, let's talk about her lineage for a minute. Raised in Michigan, moved to New York, is British. She started turning British like at the Golden Globes and she was doing the interviews and she says "telly" instead of "television" and she uses the word "actually" way too much and then she's also sorta bringing her voice down to a register around here (brings her voice down) and she's being interviewed for the Golden Globes and she's got whole, you know, crazy hair that everybody hated and everybody has and they were saying, "Well, Madonna, we're so glad to have you at the Golden Globes." (speaks in Madonna British accent) "Well, actually, it is more fun to come here than watch it on the telly". You know. Look, I'm from the midwest- its a TV.
Kathy Griffin
Straight guys, this is your section, wake up (clap clap).
Kathy Griffin
There were two cheerleaders, and their job was to basically go out in skimpy outfits and say hi to the guys........ and some of the ladies, if you know what I'm saying.
Kathy Griffin
I love my clit. I use it every day. Not a day goes by when I don't use it for something.
Kathy Griffin
Huh, guess ah shouldn't huh did it. (imitating Britney's 55-hour husband Jason Allen Alexander) Come on, Mr. Britney. Grammar, grammar.
Kathy Griffin
Next thing I know, there a baby in my ter-litt!
Kathy Griffin
I actually share one thing with Whitney Houston, which is, I also have sweating issues.
Kathy Griffin
People with cancer like to wear jogging suits. (Kathy Griffin)
She wouldn't shake my hand! I said "C'mon, be a gentleman."
Kathy Griffin
Do you know why I'm thin? Because I'm hungry ALL the time!
Kathy Griffin
Oprah decides to go with her "friend", Gayle.
Kathy Griffin
Don't you love the new crazy Britney, she's our new Liza.
Kathy Griffin