W. S. Gilbert quotes - page 2

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering. (W. S. Gilbert)
Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Of that there is no manner of doubt- No probable, possible shadow of doubt- No possible doubt whatever. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Oh, philosophers may sing Of the troubles of a King, But of pleasures there are many and of worries there are none; And the culminating pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
...in the first place, self decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital offence. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
From such a face and form as mine, the noblest sentiments sound like the black utterances of a depraved imagination! It's human nature! I'm resigned. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
I know what love is. There was a happy time when I didn't, but bitter experience has taught me. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
When your process of extermination begins, let our deaths be as swift and painless as you can conveniently make them. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
The House of Peers, thoughout the war Did nothing in particular And did it very well. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
By doing so, we shall, in course of time, Regenerate completely our entire land- Great Britain is that monarchy sublime, To which some add (but others do not) Ireland. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Bad language or abuse I never, never use, Whatever the emergency; Though "Bother it" I may Occasionally say, I never use a big, big D. (W. S. Gilbert)
Some word that teems with hidden meaning, like "Basingstoke". It might recall me to my saner self. For, after all, I am only Mad Margaret! Daft Meg! Poor Meg! He! he! he! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Yes, I am the Apostle of Simplicity. I am called Archibald the All-Right, for I am infallible. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Heigh-dy! Heigh-dy! Misery me, lack-a-day-dee! He sipped no sup, and he craved no crumb, As he sighed for the love of a ladye! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Pooh Bah: This professional conscientiousness is highly creditable to you, but it places us in a very awkward position. Koko: My good sir, the awkwardness of your position is grace itself compared with that of a man engaged in the act of cutting off his own head. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
A pallid and thin young man, A haggard and lank young man, A greenery-yallery, Grosvenor Gallery, Foot-in-the-grave young man! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Oh! my name is John Wellington Wells, I'm a dealer in magic and spells, In blessings and curses And ever-filled purses, In prophecies, witches, and knells. If you want a proud foe to "make tracks"- If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax- You've but to look in On our resident Djinn, Number seventy, Simmery Axe! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
If you want a receipt for that popular mystery, Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon - Take all the remarkable people in history, Rattle them off to a popular tune! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found I've got a little list, I've got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed-who never would be missed! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
She may very well pass for forty three In the dusk with the light behind her. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
But I submit, my lord, with all submission, To marry two at once is Burglaree! (W. S. Gilbert)
Art stopped short at the cultivated court of the Empress Josephine. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
I can tell a woman's age in half a minute - and I do! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Archibald: To understand this, it is not necessary to think of anything at all. Saphir: Let us think of nothing at all! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
I've jibe and joke, And quip and crank, For lowly folk And men of rank. View quote
W. S. Gilbert