W. S. Gilbert quotes

Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. (W. S. Gilbert)
Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold And the mate of the Nancy brig, And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite And the crew of the captain's gig. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
...but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Things are seldom what they seem; Skim milk masquerades as cream. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
The Law is the true embodiment Of everything that's excellent. It has no kind of fault or flaw, And I, my Lords, embody the Law. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
I love my fellow-creatures, I do all the good I can, Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man And I can't think why! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
It's true I've got no shirts to wear, It's true my butcher's bill is due, It's true my prospects all look blue, But don't let that unsettle you! Never you mind! Roll on! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
My object all sublime I shall achieve in time- To let the punishment fit the crime, The punishment fit the crime. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Roll on, thou ball, roll on Through pathless realms of space, Roll on! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
...Darwinian Man, though well-behav'd, At best is only a monkey shav'd! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this and every country but his own. (W. S. Gilbert)
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock, In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock, Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock, From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
A popular speaker, however unpopular and insignificant, has only to wind up his speech with half-a-dozen lines of Shakespeare (and to make it clearly understood that they are Shakespeare's) and he will sit down amid thunders of applause. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Is life a boon? If so it must befall That death when e're he call Must call too soon. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's Elderly, ugly daughter. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
I should have preferred to ride through the streets of Venice; but owing, I presume, to an unusually wet season, the streets are in such a condition that equestrian exercise is impractical. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
One of you may be Baptisto's son, for anything I know to the contrary; but the other is no less a personage than the only son of the late King of Barataria. ... And I trust - I trust it was that one who slapped me on the shoulder and called me his man! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
My eyes are fully open to my awful situation, I shall go at once to Roderic and make him an oration, I shall tell him I've recovered my forgotten moral senses, and I don't care tuppence ha'penny for any consequences. Now I do not want to perish by the sword or by the dagger, but a martyr may indulge a little pardonable swagger And a word or two of compliment my vanity would flatter, but I've got to die to-morrow, so it really doesn't matter! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule- Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
You have a daughter, Captain Reese, Ten female cousins and a niece, A ma, if what I'm told is true, Six sisters and an aunt or two. Now, somehow, Sir, it seems to me, More friendly-like we all should be If you united of them to Unmarried members of the crew. View quote
W. S. Gilbert
On a tree by a river a little tomtit Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow" And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit Singing ‘Willow, titwillow, titwillow?'. "Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried, "Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?" With a shake of his poor little head he replied, "Oh, Willow, titwillow, titwillow!" (W. S. Gilbert)
Life's a pudding full of plums; Care's a canker that benumbs, Wherefore waste our elocution On impossible solution? Life's a pleasant institution, Let us take it as it comes! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Ah, take one consideration with another A policeman's lot is not a happy one! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
Yes, but you don't go! View quote
W. S. Gilbert
When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to an attorney's firm. I cleaned the wndows and I swept the floor, And I polished up the handle of the big front door. I polished up that handle so carefullee That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! View quote
W. S. Gilbert