Jim Gaffigan quotes - page 2

My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that. (Jim Gaffigan)

Most single guys I know think fatherhood is terrifying.

Jim Gaffigan

I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover.

Jim Gaffigan

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

Jim Gaffigan

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

Jim Gaffigan

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

Jim Gaffigan

I just want to be known as funny.

Jim Gaffigan

I married a woman who loves to camp and I am what you would call indoorsy. I'm surprised we can still get people to camp. "Hey, wanna burn a couple of vacation days sleeping on the ground outside?" "Uh, No!" "What if I told you you get to crap standing up in the woods?" "I still wouldn't wanna go." "You'll wake up freezing covered in a rash." "... All right, I'll go."

Jim Gaffigan

I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. ... I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.

Jim Gaffigan

People don't know who I am. Some people don't know I do standup. They just write that I'm that guy from those failed sitcoms. I always joke that 'I've never heard of me either.'

Jim Gaffigan

One thing I've always appreciated about Dave is that he can be sarcastic without being alienating and self-deprecating without being self-abusing. (Jim Gaffigan)

I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliché to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.

Jim Gaffigan

Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

Jim Gaffigan

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.

Jim Gaffigan

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

Jim Gaffigan

You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

Jim Gaffigan

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.

Jim Gaffigan

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere. (Jim Gaffigan)

I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

Jim Gaffigan

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

Jim Gaffigan

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

Jim Gaffigan

He's arguably one of the best stand-up comics in the country.

Jim Gaffigan

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