Clement Freud quotes

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. (Clement Freud)
I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. View quote
Clement Freud
Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish. View quote
Clement Freud
Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed. View quote
Clement Freud
I suppose that if your name is Freud, it is better to be related to Sigmund than not. It must be frustrating to have to keep denying family connection. View quote
Clement Freud
In 1978 I was on a parliamentary delegation to Japan and returned via China during the Cultural Revolution, a choice also made by young Winston Churchill, then the Conservative MP for Stretford. I was debriefed by the Minister for Information who asked if there was anything at all I would like to ask. I said: "Yes. Everything you do, you do with extreme care and precision. When I ask questions that your government does not like, my driver calls for me five minutes later than arranged. When I ask if there are any blind or handicapped children in China, I get cabbage soup for dinner."Now I am in your country with a colleague, than whom I am older, have been in parliament longer, have held higher positions in our respective political parties: we are both staying at the Peking Palace Hotel and his suite is bigger than mine. Why?"The Minister, very embarrassed, finally said: "It is because Mr Churchill had a famous grandfather."It is the only time that I have been out-grandfathered. View quote
Clement Freud
I was called up in 1942. Having been born in Berlin, schooled in Devon, London and Berkshire, and lived in Suffolk, I ended up in the Highland Light Infantry. View quote
Clement Freud