Craig Ferguson quotes - page 5

I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn't mean that at all. It means that you're afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right. (Craig Ferguson)
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Whaa, I'm Brad Pitt. I'll crush you." [audience laughs] "With my hand! View quote
Craig Ferguson
He's quiet as well, especially if you stalk him. View quote
Craig Ferguson
He's German so he's Herr Ball. Herr Ball. His movies are so bad, cats choke when they hear his name. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger! View quote
Craig Ferguson
Oh, this isn't a talk show; it's more just filling time, really, 'til the infomercials start. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Just a warning: If you're a bunch of sexy teenagers at a lake where other sexy teenagers were killed 30 years ago, leave! The guy in the forest with a hockey mask... maybe doesn't play hockey.[specific citation needed]. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Another innocent victim of my pointless rage.[citation needed]. View quote
Craig Ferguson
[After the doorbell rings, right before Secretariat appears]. View quote
Craig Ferguson
By the way, _____ was a name I used to dance under.[citation needed]. (Craig Ferguson)
Welcome back, my naughty monkeys. [whipcrack][citation needed]. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Do what you love, and what you're proud of, and you're fuckin' bulletproof. You're fuckin' bulletproof. If you do what you absolutely believe to be right, then you're fuckin' bulletproof. View quote
Craig Ferguson
The trouble I have with astrophysics or quantum mechanics is the same problem I have with philosophy; which is: initially it is mind blowing, then it is fascinating, then it is disturbing, then it is almost uncomprehensible, then it's fascinating again, then you disappear up your own ass. View quote
Craig Ferguson
[The Secretariat horse character reveals his true identity, and it happens to be Bob Newhart. ] Craig: Bob Newhart! What are you doing here? Bob Newhart: Hey, Craig; it's your dream! View quote
Craig Ferguson
I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don't believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else. View quote
Craig Ferguson
You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think. (Craig Ferguson)
I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian. View quote
Craig Ferguson
All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. View quote
Craig Ferguson