Warren Farrell quotes - page 14

Hochschild's biggest mistake, though, was one made by almost every popularized housework study: not adequately measuring men's contribution to work around the home. For example, if mom drives the children to daycare, it's called housework; if dad drives the family to grandma's, it isn't called housework. (Warren Farrell)
We do not yet understand that when we neglect men, we rape women. View quote
Warren Farrell
The first instinctive response to any criticism is a defensive response. (The quicker the response, the more defensive.) View quote
Warren Farrell
The most frequent way men are raped by adult women is "birth control rape." View quote
Warren Farrell
From a woman's perspective, sharing parent time feels like what a man might experience if his ex-wife came to his office and shared his career. He might claim the sharing is not in the best interests of the employer. But what he really would be caring about is the affront should his ex-wife do as good as he at his own job. While the fear is understandable, the difference is that his career is his, their children are theirs. View quote
Warren Farrell
The emphasis of the men's group was on understanding, coping, changing the situation and then, if all else failed, getting out; the emphasis of battered women's groups is on getting out first, and second, locking up the problem. View quote
Warren Farrell
No force is more powerful -- or more multiple -- than the family. View quote
Warren Farrell
Test this out on yourself. Imagine that for a month you have neither had your garbage picked up nor an opportunity to read about new anthropological discoveries. Which would you pay more money to remedy? A society that functions effectively adjusts the pay until the supply matches the need. Failure to make these adjustments not only leaves streets filled with garbage, but also leaves unemployment lines filled with anthropologists. View quote
Warren Farrell
In a Stage II world, in communities in which survival is mastered enough to create a balance with self-fulfillment, we have the option of "relationship language” that nourishes the soul. View quote
Warren Farrell
Unfortunately, the process of gaining money in [a man's] life usually meant alienating the wife in his life. Sometimes this leads to a legal divorce, but more often to a psychological divorce. Which is why a survey of doctors' wives reported in Medical/Mrs. Found the doctors' wives harboring hostility that was ‘stunning to behold.' Yet the wives remained married to the doctors. Why? More than anything else, the wives said, they wanted security from marriage... the men, then, were often prostitutes to an illusion of emotional security. At least their wives had the reality of economic security. View quote
Warren Farrell
Nothing threatens a father's involvement in the family more than his obligation to be the family's "financial womb,” creating "The Father's ‘Catch-22'”: loving the family by being away from the family. It is the irony of traditional fatherhood: being a father by not being a father. (Warren Farrell)
Shifting our attitudes about the future of fathers requires shifting our attitudes about the way our fathers loved. Recognizing that the rigid roles of the past were not designed by men to serve only men is not unrelated to shifting our attitudes toward dad. View quote
Warren Farrell
Misandry – or man hating – is the equivalent of misogyny. If you are unaware of misandry, welcome to the club. View quote
Warren Farrell
Your daughter says, 'Dad. Mom. I want to join the armed services.' You look at her beautiful face, her life flashes before your eyes, and you see a body bag. Now's the time to let her know the biggest military secret: She can join the military and be as safe-from-death as she would be at home. How? In the war in Iraq, not a single woman has been killed in the Air Force. Nor has a single woman been killed in the Marines. And only one has died in the Navy. Your only job is to keep her out of the Army. View quote
Warren Farrell
Laws with broad definitions of rape are like laws making 55 mile per hour speed limits for men and no speed limits for women. View quote
Warren Farrell
Our choice of partners is perhaps the clearest single statement of our choice of values. Therefore, when we blame our partner for anything, we should really be confronting ourselves. Not as in "Yes, I made a bad choice,” but as in "How does this choice reflect my values?”. View quote
Warren Farrell
All defensive responses to criticism are natural. (It is natural to think of our own perspective before someone else's.) View quote
Warren Farrell
The more our children see men being paid to take responsibility for children, the more respectable it will be for men to do work compatible with their role as dads. View quote
Warren Farrell
Most mothers want more of dad in their children's lives, not less. View quote
Warren Farrell
Men goeth to that place from which appreciation cometh. View quote
Warren Farrell
When I see dads being most effective with children, it is usually when they have an intuitive understanding that, for example, the car trip to and from the soccer game is potentially as important as the game itself. (Warren Farrell)
When we give trust, we receive trust. And people who trust us pay attention to us. View quote
Warren Farrell
[T]here are really seven different [kinds of] sexual interactions occurring in the workplace... Sexual blackmail. A boss threatens to fire an employee unless she or he is sexual... Sexual bribery. An executive promises a promotion in exchange for sex. This can be explicit or implicit... Workplace prostitution. An employee is sexual in exchange for a promotion; a salesperson is sexual to win a sale. The sex can be given or just promised... Workplace incest. Consensual sex among employees. The workplace, like the family, has lines of authority which sexual bonding tends to blur... Sexual harassment. Repeated sexual advances at work after an employee has said ‘no'... Workplace flirtation. Suggestive dress, flirtations eye contact, a combination of touching and eye signals... Workplace porn. Pinups, lewd jokes, and sexual innuendos made in groups... View quote
Warren Farrell
From evening soaps to preteen romances, [the message is that] inner values are for losers. View quote
Warren Farrell
If we want our children to have a balance between their abilities to earn money and show love, it will help if both their parents model that balance. View quote
Warren Farrell