Ken Dodd quotes

I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside. (Ken Dodd)
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her. View quote
Ken Dodd
Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny. View quote
Ken Dodd
I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform anywhere, anytime. My parents were wonderful when I told them I wanted to be an entertainer. View quote
Ken Dodd
Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them. View quote
Ken Dodd
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute - I've got to have them. View quote
Ken Dodd
Laughter is the greatest music in the world and audiences come to my shows to escape the cares of life. They don't want to be embarrassed or insulted. They want to laugh and so do I - which is probably why it works. View quote
Ken Dodd
Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble! View quote
Ken Dodd
So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn't make the sound of a coconut. View quote
Ken Dodd
You think you can get away, but you can't. I'll follow you home and I'll shout jokes through your letterbox. View quote
Ken Dodd
I think it would a good idea now if all the ugly ones came and sat down near the front! You have! Good! (Ken Dodd)
My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, 'Is this a joke? View quote
Ken Dodd