David Cross quotes - page 3

So at the CES, there was a guy selling off this porno called Fuck My Dirty Shithole: The Movie. (David Cross)
If there are a couple of adjectives people use to describe me, anger is usually in there. I've never taken that as criticism. It's the way I naturally communicate. But I'm not faux-angry, like Lewis Black, or angry like a gun-toting crazy person. I'm just angry in a mild way - it's not like I'm going to do anything about it. View quote
David Cross
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. View quote
David Cross
In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around. View quote
David Cross
Originally they wanted me to be Buster but I really like the Tobias part. View quote
David Cross
I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate. View quote
David Cross
I don't think HBO would want to do anything in conjunction with Sub Pop but I never asked either. View quote
David Cross
As for Tenacious D, of course it could work as a full length movie; all it requires is a great writer and great director with an ability to think outside of conventional film comedy. View quote
David Cross
I've got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City. View quote
David Cross
So I was watching all the Katrina coverage and I got really angry at... Christians who didn't pray hard enough... It's their fucking fault. First off, they needed to pray against the people that were praying for Katrina to hit, because New Orleans is a den of sin and iniquity; an area where gay people dance! But now they have to pray double, and if they had just put that little effort up front, we could've avoided all of this. I think it's time we take a lesson from history, and return to human sacrifice. View quote
David Cross
[On marketing and commercials]. (David Cross)
And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other FIVE BILLION PEOPLE on the planet, you selfish fuck. C'mon! You were walking back to your Malibu beach colony home and stubbed your toe on some driftwood, it's not a fuckin' emergency, alright? There's other people with real problems.' View quote
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook]. View quote
David Cross
So at the CES, there was a guy selling off this porno called Fuck My Dirty Shithole: The Movie. I bet you're thinking exactly what I was thinking ... how did they make that book into a movie? View quote
David Cross
[On the Catholic Church's sex scandals]. View quote
David Cross
[On being Jewish in the American South]. View quote
David Cross
[On freedom/America] I saw this ad for electric scissors [referring to a bit earlier] during an episode of The Simple Life. Which is a show that glorifies these two rich, giggling cunts, who have no respect for anyone. Just vile people; awful human beings. Who get away with anything, because they're rich. I, right then, vowed that I would retain this image everytime I hear George Bush say 'the terrorists hate our freedom.' You know what? I hate our freedom. Little ol' me, an American! I hate it! That's all we've done with it? We're fucking assholes, man. We...are...awful. View quote
David Cross