David Cross quotes - page 2

My biggest problem is retaining the exact information. (David Cross)
I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best. View quote
David Cross
I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine. View quote
David Cross
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically. View quote
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together. View quote
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner. View quote
David Cross
I love Tinkle, it's really the most fun I've had in years. View quote
David Cross
I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny. View quote
David Cross
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people. View quote
David Cross
Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat. View quote
David Cross
If the terrorists hated freedom, the Netherlands would be fucking dust. (David Cross)
I think we can all agree that Blue Lives Murder. Now... Not all of them, not most of them, but a bunch of em, murder. [scoffs] Theyre murdering us. Well, not us. We're white, but.... View quote
David Cross
There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views. View quote
David Cross
I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry. View quote
David Cross
I don't remember ordering the Christian sandwich... View quote
David Cross
It's hip to be square. Remember that shitty song by that shitty band 20 motherfuckin' years ago? View quote
David Cross
Not funny, not funny says she, didn't like it! View quote
David Cross
So I was watching this one show where - there's a guy on stage and he pretends he has contact with the dead and spirits talk to him...[Some people in the audience give suggestions, one of which is Crossing Over.] Crossing–...no, no, no, no, no, it was, uh, church. It was church. View quote
David Cross
[After reading an article on Miles for Kids in an inflight journal] What [President of the Airline] is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate? View quote
David Cross
I think I'd be a really good dad. So perhaps I'm doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible. View quote
David Cross
I have no hesitation doing children's movies. Zero. And I don't even have kids. (David Cross)
I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright. View quote
David Cross
It's just an easy catchall to describe a style because there are a lot of alternative comics who are completely different from each other. View quote
David Cross
Then I will tape the sets and even though I'm not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together. View quote
David Cross
[After having made an abortion joke] I know that can hit close to home for some people.... was anyone here aborted?... (mimicking child's voice:) 'I was found in a trash can! View quote
David Cross